What do you c in the craft.

So it's been a long time since I posted on here about my a-z. I hadn't forgotten about it, I just needed more time to get my material out of my head and in to the world. Thinking about the craft and what it is to so many of us made me think of the next letter in the alphabet.......... So yeah anyway I'm gonna let you try and guess what C is going to be while I rabbit on like and old man :D haha.

I'm always writing about my grove family and the differences that we all have in Magick, how amazing I think that is AND.........well....... how much I love it. But I never discuss what or why those differences come together, let alone how they work or why they are so positive. So I suppose I should probably start with myself and go from there. When I started out with the craft it was journey to discover myself and the strength I needed within to deal with the world around me. With no luck gaining what I needed from the faith surrounding me I turned to other places and other people.

The first ingredient in my Magickal life came in the form of a book called Practical Magick by Marian Green. It was a great book for a beginner and described a lot of the concepts expressed by Wicca. Then there was a little orange book of spells for happiness followed by The Tower of Alchemy (a book I eventually gave away because it was WAY tooooooo complicated for my tiny mind hahahaha). So my first steps in to a spiritual life where therefore based in the working of the great Wiccan teachers like Gerald Gardener and so on. In the years to come I added more and more ingredients to my pot and that included the tarot, reiki, a brief study of shamanism, buhdist meditations, sound therapy and earth healing. But soon I found myself at a dead end and needed to find some training in the craft that didn't come from just books and blogs. I wanted a teacher to show me which ingredients could help with my journey.

There was also the desire for community, a group of strangers that I could turn to and make friends with, where the bond we had was based on something we shared in our craft. That's when I turned to the practice of Druidry and The Order of Bards Ovates and Druids. I worked with the bardic course for about 18 months and passed the grade, which added a massive chunk of knoweledge and what I consider the foundation to my own craft in to the already interesting mix. The Druidry also gave me an outlet for what I was constantly learning and developing through my craft, my grove :D.

It was becoming more and more apparent to me that I wasn't just finding the strength I wanted within but creating it and brewing it for myself too. I was brewing strength, compassion and understanding within myself. I was using the different disciplines and ways of thinking to create, in myself, what I wanted to achieve in the outer world. I wanted to show, power in times of conflict, courage in times of trouble, compassion in times of heartbreak and understanding in times of confusion. But you can only do that by fostering those qualities inside yourself.

Now I'm coming back to the point I wanted to get to at the start of this post, like myself the grove/family I am proud to be a part of is a big hodgepodge of different things that make up the whole. We are members that study druidry, Wicca, hoodoo, Strega, ceremonial Magick, shamanism and just simple mindfulness. It is that combination that creates strength, all added together with tolerance, understanding and compassion so that the ingredients can interact and work together.

So have you guessed what I'm getting at? A magickal tool that begins with C that you can put lots of different things in and mix them together to create Magick?................................C is for Cauldron :D. That Magick pot that you put everything in, the pot that holds the ashes of your Magick Fire, the pot that has your water in for concecration of the circle or the candle that sits in the southern corner. It's the go to tool when you need to fill something with offerings to the gods. All in all the cauldron is the thing we use to hold everything and make things manifest through magickal practice.

But the couldron can be found in us, the places we live and the people we love. The whole world is a cauldron of Magick that is being constantly added to and stirred up creating massive changes in us and the rest of the world around us. Never underestimate the power of a container, least of all the container that is mostly associated with the power of the goddess and especially if you aren't ready to let out, whatever it is that you have put inside.

Blessed be lovelies xx

Finding the goddess.

Hey my lovelies, this post is about........you guessed it.....the goddess :D (que trumpets and confetti). I have been researching the feri or faery tradition of witchcraft that was developed by Victor and Cora Anderson in the US. It's really interesting and I am just doing some light reading before I begin to practice some of what they teach and perform. I like it because it mentions themes that work in contrast and compliment my druid practice.

One of the things I came across a couple of days ago was the concept of the star goddess and divine mother. Now....... I know there are star goddesses and divine mothers all over the show and you don't have to research for long to find one, even in Druidry we have Cerridwen who stirs the cauldron but it wasn't until I found the goddess in the feri tradition that I really gelled with an idea of her. I think that it gelled with me because I see divine as everywhere and in everything. Stars to me are the beacons in the night that formed from the same dust that formed our world and us aswell. So when the idea that the love of the goddess living in the light of the stars began to form in my mind it stayed with me and the more I read about feri the more it developed in my mind aswell as my heart. My understanding of the feminine divine in Druidry is based in the earth mother, which has been difficult for me to come to grips with. However seeing her from on high as universal rather than earthly has opened me up to seeing her in more colour and splendour.

Either way this is supposed to be about finding the goddes so here goes.....I don't.........didn't really know her very well. I have spoken to a few of her faces and seen her miracles in my life but until now I have never felt her staying power inside my heart...... well until a few days ago that is.

The goddesses I have worked with in the past have been Aphrodite, Hecate and more recently Isis. All of which have done amazing things in my life and filled it with so much Magick. But this new idea of the goddess in the stars and the night sky has filled my heart and mind with a sense of wonder that I have really missed for such a long time.

This morning I woke up to my beautiful man and looked around the room, he went to have a shower and I just floated in the stillness of the morning air just being me and feeling the world...... truly in the moment. I looked over at the smiling statue of the White Goddess from my druid grove and I just thought to myself, that feeling you get........you know the one.....that one that when you get it makes you breath in deep and go "ahhhhhhhhhhh" out loud. So I jumped up, went and got showered, brushed my teeth, got dressed, light some candles on the alta, sat in front of the White lady of my grove, of the stars, and prayed..................................

Now that's never happened before. Never in my life have I just looked within to find the divine without, I found the power of my goddess in the silent stillness of my mind pondering on stars and wishing for happiness. It's also funny how not a fortnight ago (2 weeks ago) I was looking at facebook, and posted about wishing on a star. Looking back I notice how images of stars and most of all Pinocchio (the little liar) have followed me around. 

I think it's time to act on my feelings and continue my prayers, things are moving and I'm not gonna stand around and let them move past me now that my divine mother has given me the nod of approval so to speak. :D Wish me luck my beauties, I'm off to catch my starlight and shine out to the world with the goddess in my heart once and for all. After searching high and low for my goddess, my mother, I think she has found me.

Barding :D what's that then :P

So I have been thinking about people and how they practice their craft. Maybe it's funny that I should be thinking about it because......well..........I suppose it's just that there are lots of different ways to practice and in my last post I spoke about my grove family. I just love and admire the way we are celebrating our differences, giving each individual a chance to have their say and contribute something to the group. Yesterday I had a party to celebrate my completion of the bardic grade within The Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids (OBOD). It was a celebration from a combined group of very very magickal people, all of which wanted to share the day talking about and celebrating our craft. I decided to call it a Barding after the name of the grade I had just completed and the very first part of the order, the Bards.

It really fascinates me how the craft or our craft can be anything from grey Magick to demon worship hahaha, and yet we all get on and celebrate each other's strengths and personal triumphs. It's a testament to how diversity can give strength to others if understanding is made our foundation. With understanding we can appreciate the strengths that each different way of practicing can give to our own way of doing things, expanding our boundaries and increasing our knoweledge.

Anyway at this party we worked with the bardic circle casting and the prayer of our grove which is part of the bardic course and the practices that make up OBOD (it was MY party after all hahaha). I was so thankful to the people that came and I was so blessed with what they said and did for me that day, even though not all of them practice the same faith or craft as me, they do however recognise the importance of it to my life and the power it has to change, grow and empower the people performing it.

My grove family have shown me and taught me so much over the past year and a half. Lessons of tolerance, faith, love and compassion have all come from the fact that everyone in my little family has something different to contribute, and every contribution is considered with understanding, where the value of everything is accepted based on how it affects us all in different ways.

I couldn't have asked to be part of a family like this, I am so lucky that they found me and that they offer me understanding.

A new kind of family

I know I bang on a bout this stuff a lot but the thing is, you only really bang on about the stuff that really matters to you.............I am a member of something amazing and it's my grove hehehe. The grove of the white goddess :D.

Recently loosing my father and with the rest of my family either very far away or just plain not interested, I have found support from the people that others would assume don't have much to do with me. Of course it's only once a month and involves sacrificing goats to an imaginary host of spirits that want to use me and my friends to take over the world hahahahahahaha. But that's wrong, dead wrong.

Over the past 18 months I have met a lot of different people. People who come from almost every walk of life, who in their own way all love and practice Magick. In that time I have made friends, lost friends and become part of something that we have all affectionately named..........our pagan family.

Some people may feel a little out of their depth at times when they come to the grove ,and though being confronted with this massive gaggle of pagan geese may seem intimidating. Let me tell you that through my hardships I have never felt more love, compassion or support. 

From a group of seemingly random and beautiful people I have been given time to cry, laugh (like I have never laughed before), grow and learn new skills. All of us have this one thing in common.......Magick!!............ That special kind of connection that means no matter how far or how lost you may become you always get a hug from everyone when you walk in to the hall just once a month, goats and all.

I used to think that being alone with my thoughts was how I best processed them or that only blood relatives could offer me the support that I needed. But I have learned that if I don't share my life with others then I will never be able to share others lives with them and that in it's self makes for a lonely existence indeed. My Magick and my heart has grown because I have learned to accept others in to my life and my Magick. It's been a hard journey but now I am enjoying having more than just friends.......I have a family...........and I am part of a growing community ( that loves hugs..........and goats hahahahaha :D).

Time to get back on the rails.

Hey my beautiful lot of beauties haha. It's been a while Ennit :D.

Anyway, things are as they seem to be but I'm here and I'm happy so it's time to write to you all and let you all know the new stuff that is going on in my life :D. I have finally finished my bardic grade within OBOD and am now working towards the ovate grade of the course :D...........gimme another 2 years and I will be an all powerful DRUID!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Plus I have finally finished a college course in beauty so now it's job search time.........hmmmm that sound like fun (sarcasm is great). 

Cough!!

Anyway :D I have decided that with the end of my bardic grade (which was far more fun) that maybe I should do something. I'm not going to get a certificate or letter of commendation or anything like that so I have taken it upon myself to have a Barding :P.............let's be clear about this........a Barding is a party where I get celebrated as being awesome :D .......simply because my ego is just simply not big enough already hahahahahaha.

So anyway I have taken it upon myself to have this party of Clinton is awesome and invite lots of people to come and give me compliments on my awesomeness. However I am vexed..........simply.... vexed. I have never heard of a Barding before and have no idea what one would include let alone who came up with the idea (I'm betting it's me :P). Would there be ritual? Would there be prayer? Is it just going to end up being a booze up with disco music? I have no idea.

If I'm really honest with you I may just take everyone for a great big picnic with a bottle of champers to celebrate the move up to the next grade :D that sounds quite nice actually now I think about it :D.

I'm so exited to have a party and just piss about with my friends and family but I'm also concerned because my path in Druidry and the craft has created complications in my relationships with family. My faith is a massive part of my life and all in all they have kinda sworn off having anything to do with that part of me (which if I'm honest makes conversations difficult as it's all I want to talk about hahahaha). So what do I do about including family in my life when they seem to not want any part of it. Do I invite them anyway and just expect the declines or should I just ignore them al together and just not invite them and get a back log of complaints from those members who would have actually enjoyed the opertunity to come along. Ahhhhh........vexed again!!!!!!

I'm meeting up with my grandma tomorrow morning to have a catch up since my dad's passing and I'm gonna talk to her about it, which I'm sure will be really awkward but mehh. The thing I want the most is to know my family and be confident that they also know me.......all of me.......warts and all.

Anyway wish me luck, I miss posting on here and I need to start doing it again as you all seemed so interested in my rantings and ravings hahahahahaha. Cya laters my beauties and wish me luck.

BLESSED BE!!!!!

KAI

My religion not real.......hmmmm well poo poo to you.

I have been working through the elements now for the past 9 months of my bardic training and last night was a ritual that united all the individual blessings I had done in the previous months. 

The ritual took me a record breaking 20 minutes haha. I know there are people out there who are gonna say it should have taken an hour or more and those that will say that I obviously did it wrong and should have taken more time over it..............well poo poo to you. I realised during the meditation at the end that the ritual was only the beginning and that it didn't matter how long it took me to do the actual ritual. The real point of the exercise is to give me something to live, that it's not the 5 minute meditation that is important but infact the realisation that I need to take what I have learned during the ritual and apply it to more than just this 20 minutes but the rest of my life. To truly live with the elements in my body mind and spirit and remember the balance that comes from the unity of all things. 

That balance is what gives me faith and strength, when I feel balanced I really truly feel the Magick all around me, the connection to the fae and the spirits of the land. It is an empowering feeling that makes me wonder how far I could go. I feel like nothing could stand in my way. 

The ritual yesterday came after a bout of bad news and shitty happenings, for example having a car is just not as much fun as people lead you to believe hahahaha. But anyway, life has been a challenge and I found myself feeling cut off and disconnected from the truth of my own power. The elements of the world seemed a far cry from the balance I had spent the last 9 months trying to achieve. But then something happened and I made a conscious decision to change my circumstances and stop worrying about what I couldn't change. Instead I decided to resort to my faith, my belief in Magick and my connection to the spirits. 

To my great relief my connection had remained strong and with the quietest of calls the spirits answered, I  was reminded of my old habits of drawing symbols on things to cheer myself up. I remembered a sigil that I created when I was but a wee lamb hahaha. It wasn't 10 minutes before I had a pen and I was drawing the symbol on the back of my hand hahaha. It made me feel safe and strong again.

The symbol was one I had always loved to draw, a pentagram with 5 orbs that sat between each point to represent the elements. The pentagram represented me and the orbs represented my connection to the elementals and the protection they offered me. It is a symbol that always makes me feel invincible, like it could do anything. It isn't much really is it? Just a symbol. 

But what it means to me is more than just a star and a few blobs. It's my seal, my security blanket, my spiritual mark of power and my personal rune. It is something that holds me to the beliefs that I cherish and the memory of it keeps me from forgetting how I came to use it to protect myself in the past when things would go wrong. The elements are with me now and they have always and will always be with me. From now until forever and back again.

Spring is on the breeze.

It is Ostara and after reading lots of things online and looking through my books I have come up with nothing.......zilch........bump kiss hahaha. So I have decided to look at what I know in my heart, what I feel in my bones and what I taste on the breeze.

It is spring, the time of growth, birth and renewal. I am reminded of the gods and how they had disputes and growth during the first eons of creation. 

This in turn has me drawn to the story of Persephone and how she was taken by Hades to be his bride in the underworld. This act put her mother Demeter in to a despair and she no longer gave her gifts to the world. As she searched for her daughter the world became starved of fertility and began to wither away and sleep.

After three months and a plan from hades to make sure his bride returned to him, the beautiful Persephone was released from hades and returned to her mother. This act of reunion ends the very first winter and brings about the very first spring as Demeter's powers are returned to the world.

This is where I feel I am now. My spirit returned to my body as I was searching for something I felt I had lost. The love of a mother and her child is brought forth by this story and this reunion speaks of a fundamental love and care. As it is a goddess's love that is brought back in to life it spills out in to the world. Demeter the goddess of the harvest and fertility through the reunion of the one thing that makes her whole breathes life in to the wind, the warm breath takes the chill out of the air and summons the spirits of spring to begin their work. 

Cefiro is FIT!!!!! Hehehehehehe

Cefiro spirit of the spring breeze carries the goddess's breath to all the land. He spreads the message of care and love for one another. He brings the element of romance to the people so that they may again feel at one with each other and spread that love which from the goddess brings life to everything it touches. 

Demeter gives life and Cefiro transports it, may we be blessed by the breath of the goddess and the council of its courier. The power that gives fertility, growth, birth and renewal. Take it in people with your very lungs and use it wisely.