Fear and loving,

How important do you think it is that we feel fear, hate, anger and all those negative emotions. I was recently at a woodland ritual for Samhain (early I know but it was as close as we could all muster it ha ha), the ritual was mostly about getting rid of banes with the aid of the Cailleach.

The ritual was awesome and we all really got in to it, when the Cailleach walked around the circle I couldn't help but notice how some people felt fear over what was happening. She walked slowly to the sound of the drum peering with veiled face in to the faces of the members of the circle, the drum grew louder and louder until suddenly it stopped and the Cailleach screamed right in the face of one of the members of the circle (lots of us jumped when she screamed ha ha). Slowly her hand pointed at the fire and we began releasing our banes in to the fire one by one. It was a moving moment and by moving I mean it motivated you with magick and emotion to do the magick that you needed to do.

I began to think about how emotions can tie themselves to things and how by trying to release a bane in ritual, what should feel like a simple act can become heart wrenching and really difficult. The Cailleach made it all the more real, to rid yourself of something that has a hold on you takes guts and full on determination, overcoming fear to throw your bane away to be transformed is even more powerful.

I think the point I am trying to make is that sometimes I speak to people who say that religion, spirituality or magick is supposed to help you and that if you feel fear or anger then you are not ready. But maybe the real truth of it is that without overcoming those emotions with faith in what you believe you will not grow as much as you want. If you run away from your faith every time it asks you to confront what it is your are trying to resolve then you will never get anywhere.

Take your fear and your anger, your hate and your doubt and when it rears its head and shows its teeth smash it in the face and prove to yourself that you can move forward and be in control of your own emotions. They are YOURS after all so own them and let them motivate you and give you strength.

Place your bane within my fire.

Blessed be

Blessings are the focus

Life becomes the gift

Ecstatic are the motions

Seeing all there is

Smell love within the air

Ever I am here

Divine in your hand.

Blessed is

Everyone.

B L E S S E D    B E !!

Away go your fears

Many are your friends

Everywhere you find me

Never will I end.

A M E N !!

Great is my place 

Omnipotent is my power

Divine is my home

Divine is my centre

Everywhere my influence

See me in all things

Something to behold

G O D D E S S !!

G.A.Y madness in the making

There is a lot that can be said for and well...against labels. We can identify with them and we can be against them completely. Druid means what exactly.........hahaha. I don't know about you but at times it is more about self identity than its about what you really are inside. I'm gay is another one that has been big with me this last few weeks and I know that at times I can really go on a bit but here is the thing.

The word is a label, pure and simple. A label that identifies me as someone that prefers the same sex and nothing else. So why does it have to be the thing you remember the most about me? Some people have remembered me as "the gay one" and although I may not really give a dam what they say I cant help but think that it's a little shallow or not very insightful. The point is that no matter what the label is and no matter who its is for there should never be one that you are remembered for. At the end of it all the labels we choose are the ones that best describe ourselves within the given situation.

You can use labels to free you from models that restrict you, find something that you want to do or want to achieve and then move towards becoming more like the label. When you have done that then drop the label and make what you have learnt from it part of who you are. Don't try and fit a stereotype, your a free person who has the power to change and be more than you were 10 minutes, 10 days or 10 years ago.

G growing .... A another day ....Y younger

I am Clinton the  sensitive, gay, druid, that can be creative, poetic, romantic, kind and insightful. That enjoys blog writing, people's company and animals and none of you really could ever hope to describe me with a single word. So unless I decide it's really necessary  then don't try to do it for me.

Blessed be guys and let people find you because they want to not because you have a sign attached to your arm that makes it easy for them to put you in a box. Well that is unless you want to get in the box with them :P

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Growing from the heart

Since learning to step with the world in constant motion I have begun to move from my heart. I have spent a long long time in my life hiding my heart from the people around me, just to protect myself from the even the people who love me is a sad thing but some times I felt it necessary just to survive.

Well that's changed........With this blog and the friends around me I began to build a foundation of strength. A personal strength that I can rely on to keep me held up right and tall no matter what the world may throw at me. Not only that but with a foundation set in spiritual stone I could start to build upon it and develop my heart in to a spiritually guiding presence in my life rather than a fragile and breakable organ. I began to let my love and my feelings guide my actions instead of the other way round, I let my heart have a little bit more freedom and I tell you what. It is probably the most scary thing I have ever done haha. But that was because I was focusing on the fear......A fear of the future, which was silly when I live in the now.

Then it came. The day when people started to reflect the heart that I was showing to them, I was being given back what I was giving out to the world around me. Even the gods of Olympus responded by sending me signs and blessings. They sent me a dragon to hold me and strengthen me even further. When I was falling on to the foundations again the falling didn't last long because I just started with the heart again and when everyone responded I found myself lifted up by the hearts of others.

I was getting people hug me and thank me for things I thought were just the right thing to do, when I was just being myself through the heart I was adding a dimension to my life that was helping other people. I am so glad that I have been able to open my heart to those around me. Loving the way I feel and dealing with problems has gotten so much easier. I hope it does for you too.

Stepping on the first stone.

I have been on such a ride of emotion this past month or so. I have fallen out of love, fallen back in love, learnt about the passion of a mother, breathed life in to a new day and watched as people fall apart as things change around them. Through all of this I have learnt that no matter what you need to be able to move, you need to keep on walking and standing up right. You can't let the world spin under your feet and pull you under the flow.Nothing is still...........it all moves and shifts in directions that we will never be able to predict with just our intuition alone and thank god we can't. I would hate someone to ruin all my surprises all the time wouldn't you??

Magick has been the focus for me for a very long time but it has been hard to grasp how much of my life has been filled with it until now. I have come to understand that if you think magick is just for the odd occasion that you need something to move in your favour then you have not understood something very fundamental in how it seems to work.
I like that from time to time the world shifts and I stumble for a few day before finding my feet again because I always learn so much from that shift. But one thing I do make sure I do is that I don't try to stop myself from moving. The tides of magick, fate, god or whatever you believe are always on the move nothing stands still and that in it's self is beautiful to me.

I love to think that my life is like walking upon the ocean. I step forward when it is easy and time my steps with the surges and swells, the rising whales and the tortoise shells. I step when there is room to move and I never stop for the risk of falling under and not regaining my footing. It is never going to be easy to work in perfect balance with something as turbulent and constant as the ocean but I know that the more I try to move toward that idea of balance then the easier it will be to deal with the mundane things.

I just need to remember that if what I am walking across is never going to be still then neither can I. We all have to move with time and none of us can go backwards. Never give in to fear, never forget where you came from and always move with each step.