The ritual was awesome and we all really got in to it, when the Cailleach walked around the circle I couldn't help but notice how some people felt fear over what was happening. She walked slowly to the sound of the drum peering with veiled face in to the faces of the members of the circle, the drum grew louder and louder until suddenly it stopped and the Cailleach screamed right in the face of one of the members of the circle (lots of us jumped when she screamed ha ha). Slowly her hand pointed at the fire and we began releasing our banes in to the fire one by one. It was a moving moment and by moving I mean it motivated you with magick and emotion to do the magick that you needed to do.
I began to think about how emotions can tie themselves to things and how by trying to release a bane in ritual, what should feel like a simple act can become heart wrenching and really difficult. The Cailleach made it all the more real, to rid yourself of something that has a hold on you takes guts and full on determination, overcoming fear to throw your bane away to be transformed is even more powerful.
I think the point I am trying to make is that sometimes I speak to people who say that religion, spirituality or magick is supposed to help you and that if you feel fear or anger then you are not ready. But maybe the real truth of it is that without overcoming those emotions with faith in what you believe you will not grow as much as you want. If you run away from your faith every time it asks you to confront what it is your are trying to resolve then you will never get anywhere.
Take your fear and your anger, your hate and your doubt and when it rears its head and shows its teeth smash it in the face and prove to yourself that you can move forward and be in control of your own emotions. They are YOURS after all so own them and let them motivate you and give you strength.
Place your bane within my fire.
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