Yule.....to understand each other we must share.

I am still dealing with an interfaith issue with my family and have come to a point where my beliefs are being pitted against another's. I'm kinda proud that I haven't retaliated the way I would like too hahaha but still, life is always a work in progress aye.

Any who this is my video about how I am feeling about it and how it is making me evaluate how it means to me to celebrate Alban Arthuan (Yule) I am so proud to be me and part of this tribe.

Blessed Be guys

Kai

I am me and who are you??

Just to clarify some thing and make a point I think. We need to be compassionate and let love transcend ignorance. I have done loads of magick lately, I have been working on doing my Druid training since I came back from Glastonbury and then after spending a few days in the real world haha. I got drained from all the mundane an bit and now it has left me reeling so to speak. Anyway here is video about how my embracing my faith to regain my strength has been labelled as wrong.

Hope you like guys :D

PS sorry for the rustling haha I must remember not to move the screen while I am recording haha

The mash up

After an adventure I wanted to talk to you guys. :D

I have been to Glastonbury for a meeting of the Order of Bards Ovates and Druids. They all made me feel so welcome and although I didn't agree with some of the things said and at times the information went a bit over my head, the points to the talks didn't. We need to embrace what we have around us, our lives or our hearts and we need to love it.

I hope you understood what I was meant to say haha. I did kinda deviate a bit before I actually made my point. I hope that with the experience I get from doing these videos I can actually get in to talking about some good ole magickal practise with you guys.

Lots of love always
Kai (Clinton)

Expanding the dirt.

Expanding on what I have said in my past post about cleansing.

There ya go guys enjoy xxx

What do we do when were drity??

I was with my beautiful man for the weekend and we had the most amazing time together. We did lots of things and spent a lot of time talking to each other while we lay in each others arms. The both of us dealt with some big issues that we hadn't resolved all together (me mostly).  Before he left mine, after dropping me off at my house with all my things. We decided, to make our letting go of the old final, that we would do a smudging ceremony so that we could begin a new. Our first little bit of magic together.

It was lovely and I really felt a change in how I was now. However it led me to thinking about how often I really cleanse and what I am actually cleansing. Do we actually do it properly? Do we clean behind our magickal ears? Personally I don't think we do a very good job at the moment, I know I don't. Last night led me to think about all the magick I do on a daily basis and then all the magick I know that other people do. As a rule I don't do magick on others unless it's asked for but I know that there are people out there that do (not a bad thing, just not my cup of tea).

So what about all that magick? It's starting to sound a bit like were being smothered and after thinking long and hard I was like " Ahhhhhhhh I'm drowning in other peoples magick.". Well that's what it felt like at the time haha. All those protection spells, grounding spells, happiness spells, prayers, chants and incantations being fired at us by us and by other people are all going to mount up and cover us from head to toe. The thing is about most of this stuff is that unless you tell it to stop it probably wont.

This was where my thoughts took a eureka moment so to speak. I thought:
"Ok then If all this magick is still happening and I'm under all this mess of magick and protection and whatever. Then I need to lift the crust that is hovering over my head and see the world as it is without the rose tinted magickal blanket."
"I need to get rid of the protection that isn't protecting me from anything any more and the prayers that are out of date, the love that has moved from my life and the healing that has healed my wounds. I need to be clean and start again."

Just because I like this picture :P

So here is the idea.................
1.Cast my circle of protection so that when all the mess is gone I am still safe and sound.
2. I need to speak to my gods and goddesses.
Finally. I will cast a protection spell to seal in the me that is free from tampering and free to express its self to the world.
This I hope is going to get rid of the bog that is surrounding me, not just the magick but all the rest of it too. With the out of date magick gone then maybe those things that they are protecting me from will be forgotten and forgiven for good this time and not just until I get a reminder. When all the mist has cleared and I can see again I will be able to find my weaknesses and make them stronger instead of just covering them up with spells or prayers. I can take Apollo and Aphrodite in to my heart and move forward with them beside me, instead of at arms length.

I cant wait to get clean so that I can start having adventures and begin to get dirty again haha.

Chasing faeries

The world moves and we move, everything is fluid and motion or fire and energy but then we are still from time to time. That is where you see the most amazing things. It is in the pauses that we get the chance to put together all the things that we have watched move and it is in those moments of still contemplation where you can see all the things you've missed.

Talking with my good friend and lover Nuinn I was amazed at how he saw the world, how he felt the motion of everything and nothing all at the same time. It was awesome because it was so different to how I felt and saw things. As he put it, he is fire and I am water.

During a Tai Chi lesson we got to practise a technique called sticky hands. The idea is to get a sense of the energy flow that occurs in your body when you move. I love it but I do something that the others don't. I'm still............

It struck me as weird that the others explained that being so still is not allowing the energy to flow and that you need to move your body to let it flow, but I think the main reason that I'm still is that I'm just feeling. It's hard to explain without knowing more about the practise of Tai Chi. But anyway In that stillness I find that with my eyes closed I can feel and create a mental picture of what my energy is doing, where it is centred, what the other person is doing and how they are going to move (not that I have got the relevant skill yet to do anything with that in formation).
But there are moments with my energy like when water is still, that I can change my flow and then the rest of my body reacts and changes the energy so it knocks the other person off balance. This (as I have found out) is not the point if sticky hands but still I enjoyed what it taught me in that moment. It taught me that I can be like water, still yet moving and then I can make my energy rise from my feet and swell like a wave. It was a self empowering moment of stillness that showed me what I can do when I relax and centre my energy.

Nuinn is as fire. He is a constant burn of flame that moves and flickers with each motion but he has learnt how to make that single candle flame burn away anything that comes to strike at his energy. After all it only takes a candle flame to burn down a whole house. His stillness has given him power and he does not need to expand his energy when the energy that he already has is enough. However I'm not saying he couldn't expand this flame and become a fire storm. But I suppose what would be the point of exhausting yourself so much when the single flame is enough.

Maybe this is the point...........If I am still water then I should just let the energy in, let the motion pass through me as if I'm water and then come out the other side. Its all about being the unseen and moving through the world unhindered..........like faeries.

The power of ugly.

I am often being told about all those spirits and allies we have, Angels, Fae, Ancestors and elemental's and I must admit it is an awesome thought to think that there are all these beings out there that are awesome and wiling in some small way to help me out.

What strikes me as funny is that when people describe them they mention 2 things together that for me are a little narrow minded. That they are all beautiful and that there are many of them as different to each other as we humans are. So why the hell are they ALL beautiful? Now don't get me wrong, beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all but we can all agree on some things that are ugly cant we? So why is it we only want to deal with the pretty spirits and elemental's? What about the ones that have fangs and sharp claws? The ones that are dribbling and shadowy. What about those spirits that are equally benevolent but down right scary and monstrous?

I have had many instances where I have been in the presence of some awesome spiritual guides that have come to help me in my times of trouble but what I can say with certainty is that the ones I gained the most from were the ones that were not only pretty but the ones that were down right ugly to me too. The ones that MADE me stand up and listen to what it was they were trying to teach me.

Strength, Courage, Focus, Will, all those things that keep us from falling under when the world takes a swing at our heads. Those are the things that we learn when we are feeling rock bottom. You would never learn to be courageous if there was never a need to be and that's the same with magick and the spiritual realms. Those monsters under your bed are not the bad guys...........you are stronger than they are and all you need to do is believe it. 

In a situation a while back I was driving home from a friends house in the dark. It was late and I was going a good 15 miles to get home. Not a long journey but to be honest its not about how far you travel its about the journey you take. So there I was in the car and for some reason I decided to go down a country lane that I had not driven down in years. In fact ever, as this was the first time since getting my licence that I had needed to go this way. I was driving cautiously and being observant when I drove past some wood that held dark memories for me. A place that I had not been to in a while. Almost instantly I felt the fear in my belly begin to swell and I couldn't push out images that were flooding my mind. Images of dark thoughts, actions and monsters. Then I thought about the theory I had about monsters years ago. That they are just reflections of your feelings that are trying to encourage you to confront the issue. So I asked for my monster to sit in the back of the car with me. As I drove down the dark lonely road my shadowy monster of fear sat in the back with me..............................I was NOT AFRAID. Why would I be? He was my monster after all. He couldn't harm me because I created him. But I tell ya what, if anything had come out of that forest as I was driving by it would have eaten them alive. He's ugly like that.

Between the sun and a hard place.

The boat was silent on waters still my heart was beating fast

and water slid beneath my feet and took me to the past.

The forest stood as tall as giants the trees began to laugh

with winds that beat like fevered beasts to show the winding path.

The steps were shallow broken slabs and each had bore a mark

that every traveller here and now could sing un to the lark.

My journey ended with the cliff a face within it carved

and stepping close my hand did touch the skin not earthed but barked.

The face gave way to temples sway the stone was white as snow

its space was filled with sweeter smells and darkness filled with glow.

My steps advanced my fleeting breath and stood before a door

the gold and jewels did glitter so and teach me to endure.

His presence seeped through silents cracks to tug my broken heart

and now I knew the way to go and play my chosen part.

The doors were locked and would not sway my strength it weren't enough

and so I called and begged and cried for him to make me tough.

My resolve now was tougher and the door began to move

so in I stepped to see my lord within his golden grove.

His statue there did start to stare and offered me a golden fruit

the apple golden with a glow that with my love began to root.

It's seed was planted teaching me the love that was sublime

a love that came from just once place a love that was just mine.

His message given I began to step back through the glow

the smells still sweet hung in the air began to drift and flow.

Through open doors back to the path that clung upon the ground

I turned with smiles in my heart whilst it began to pound.

My lover of the temple bells had answered me in prayer

with a gift of golden fruit now he is ALWAYS there.

Sorry, I couldn't resist haha.

Fear and loving,

How important do you think it is that we feel fear, hate, anger and all those negative emotions. I was recently at a woodland ritual for Samhain (early I know but it was as close as we could all muster it ha ha), the ritual was mostly about getting rid of banes with the aid of the Cailleach.

The ritual was awesome and we all really got in to it, when the Cailleach walked around the circle I couldn't help but notice how some people felt fear over what was happening. She walked slowly to the sound of the drum peering with veiled face in to the faces of the members of the circle, the drum grew louder and louder until suddenly it stopped and the Cailleach screamed right in the face of one of the members of the circle (lots of us jumped when she screamed ha ha). Slowly her hand pointed at the fire and we began releasing our banes in to the fire one by one. It was a moving moment and by moving I mean it motivated you with magick and emotion to do the magick that you needed to do.

I began to think about how emotions can tie themselves to things and how by trying to release a bane in ritual, what should feel like a simple act can become heart wrenching and really difficult. The Cailleach made it all the more real, to rid yourself of something that has a hold on you takes guts and full on determination, overcoming fear to throw your bane away to be transformed is even more powerful.

I think the point I am trying to make is that sometimes I speak to people who say that religion, spirituality or magick is supposed to help you and that if you feel fear or anger then you are not ready. But maybe the real truth of it is that without overcoming those emotions with faith in what you believe you will not grow as much as you want. If you run away from your faith every time it asks you to confront what it is your are trying to resolve then you will never get anywhere.

Take your fear and your anger, your hate and your doubt and when it rears its head and shows its teeth smash it in the face and prove to yourself that you can move forward and be in control of your own emotions. They are YOURS after all so own them and let them motivate you and give you strength.

Place your bane within my fire.

Blessed be

Blessings are the focus

Life becomes the gift

Ecstatic are the motions

Seeing all there is

Smell love within the air

Ever I am here

Divine in your hand.

Blessed is

Everyone.

B L E S S E D    B E !!

Away go your fears

Many are your friends

Everywhere you find me

Never will I end.

A M E N !!

Great is my place 

Omnipotent is my power

Divine is my home

Divine is my centre

Everywhere my influence

See me in all things

Something to behold

G O D D E S S !!

G.A.Y madness in the making

There is a lot that can be said for and well...against labels. We can identify with them and we can be against them completely. Druid means what exactly.........hahaha. I don't know about you but at times it is more about self identity than its about what you really are inside. I'm gay is another one that has been big with me this last few weeks and I know that at times I can really go on a bit but here is the thing.

The word is a label, pure and simple. A label that identifies me as someone that prefers the same sex and nothing else. So why does it have to be the thing you remember the most about me? Some people have remembered me as "the gay one" and although I may not really give a dam what they say I cant help but think that it's a little shallow or not very insightful. The point is that no matter what the label is and no matter who its is for there should never be one that you are remembered for. At the end of it all the labels we choose are the ones that best describe ourselves within the given situation.

You can use labels to free you from models that restrict you, find something that you want to do or want to achieve and then move towards becoming more like the label. When you have done that then drop the label and make what you have learnt from it part of who you are. Don't try and fit a stereotype, your a free person who has the power to change and be more than you were 10 minutes, 10 days or 10 years ago.

G growing .... A another day ....Y younger

I am Clinton the  sensitive, gay, druid, that can be creative, poetic, romantic, kind and insightful. That enjoys blog writing, people's company and animals and none of you really could ever hope to describe me with a single word. So unless I decide it's really necessary  then don't try to do it for me.

Blessed be guys and let people find you because they want to not because you have a sign attached to your arm that makes it easy for them to put you in a box. Well that is unless you want to get in the box with them :P

.

Growing from the heart

Since learning to step with the world in constant motion I have begun to move from my heart. I have spent a long long time in my life hiding my heart from the people around me, just to protect myself from the even the people who love me is a sad thing but some times I felt it necessary just to survive.

Well that's changed........With this blog and the friends around me I began to build a foundation of strength. A personal strength that I can rely on to keep me held up right and tall no matter what the world may throw at me. Not only that but with a foundation set in spiritual stone I could start to build upon it and develop my heart in to a spiritually guiding presence in my life rather than a fragile and breakable organ. I began to let my love and my feelings guide my actions instead of the other way round, I let my heart have a little bit more freedom and I tell you what. It is probably the most scary thing I have ever done haha. But that was because I was focusing on the fear......A fear of the future, which was silly when I live in the now.

Then it came. The day when people started to reflect the heart that I was showing to them, I was being given back what I was giving out to the world around me. Even the gods of Olympus responded by sending me signs and blessings. They sent me a dragon to hold me and strengthen me even further. When I was falling on to the foundations again the falling didn't last long because I just started with the heart again and when everyone responded I found myself lifted up by the hearts of others.

I was getting people hug me and thank me for things I thought were just the right thing to do, when I was just being myself through the heart I was adding a dimension to my life that was helping other people. I am so glad that I have been able to open my heart to those around me. Loving the way I feel and dealing with problems has gotten so much easier. I hope it does for you too.

Stepping on the first stone.

I have been on such a ride of emotion this past month or so. I have fallen out of love, fallen back in love, learnt about the passion of a mother, breathed life in to a new day and watched as people fall apart as things change around them. Through all of this I have learnt that no matter what you need to be able to move, you need to keep on walking and standing up right. You can't let the world spin under your feet and pull you under the flow.Nothing is still...........it all moves and shifts in directions that we will never be able to predict with just our intuition alone and thank god we can't. I would hate someone to ruin all my surprises all the time wouldn't you??

Magick has been the focus for me for a very long time but it has been hard to grasp how much of my life has been filled with it until now. I have come to understand that if you think magick is just for the odd occasion that you need something to move in your favour then you have not understood something very fundamental in how it seems to work.
I like that from time to time the world shifts and I stumble for a few day before finding my feet again because I always learn so much from that shift. But one thing I do make sure I do is that I don't try to stop myself from moving. The tides of magick, fate, god or whatever you believe are always on the move nothing stands still and that in it's self is beautiful to me.

I love to think that my life is like walking upon the ocean. I step forward when it is easy and time my steps with the surges and swells, the rising whales and the tortoise shells. I step when there is room to move and I never stop for the risk of falling under and not regaining my footing. It is never going to be easy to work in perfect balance with something as turbulent and constant as the ocean but I know that the more I try to move toward that idea of balance then the easier it will be to deal with the mundane things.

I just need to remember that if what I am walking across is never going to be still then neither can I. We all have to move with time and none of us can go backwards. Never give in to fear, never forget where you came from and always move with each step.

Fear is the biggest motivator

Life has gone from turbulent to roller coaster hahahaha. I really have had to hold on for dear life with the stuff in my head lately. My magick has seemed at times to just be working over time and this has led to some amazing things happening and not just to me.

I have been working increasingly with the Greek gods that I am so enamoured with. I have such a love for them and have begun to work with my love Apollo's brothers, sisters and fellow Olympians. Recently my work with the gods has had some alarmingly influential effects on people (not in a negative way mind you, just in a very awesome way).

This has led me in to a place that I have not been in a long time.

Today I was stood in the kitchen just after a couple of friends had arrived to stay the night after a wedding we were all going to. The wedding of 2 of my greatest friends in the whole world. It was going to be a great day and my friends that were staying the night were so nice to have for company. Anyway standing in the kitchen I reached to the fridge and pulled out some juice and had a drink. It was the nicest drink I had drank all day haha. Suddenly as if from nowhere I felt like the walls of my house were beginning to crumble around me and that a wave had begun to rise from the floor. All the emotion I had asked for help with from the god's, that I had used my magick to avert had finally caught up with me and my life wasn't being held together any more.

My house mate looked at me, my red face and my welling eyes and with a sudden face of concern asked what was going on. I just looked at him in the face, gasped and said "Nothing...........Nothing I can tell you today". I had no idea how dependant on the magicks I had been this past week and had not ever thought about how I would cope once I had to calm down and let it catch up with me.

My face book profile was quickly updated with my plea to the world for a holiday where I could disappear to the clouds and recharge my batteries. What an idea that was. It has taught me something about magick that I knew about yet had never experienced and that is how at some points in your life the use of magick can disconnect you from what it is you are trying to get through. I had been using magick on all the people involved and had tried my hardest to keep the binds from shredding and leaving people reeling from the disconnection. But I had failed to notice how much of my effort was required to do this. The gods were helping but only because I was asking them constantly. I was constantly in that place of magick and divine power. This is where I mention the key word haha. I never grounded.........................not once. My head was so full of the effects of what was happening and the actions I was taking to keep things calm that I had forgotten to ground and centre.

I have learnt the limits of my strength, I know that I can push my self and use my spirituality and spell craft to do amazing things. But I need to remember what a toll work takes on anyone. This is not about magick draining me, it is about spending a week with only one thing on your mind and working tirelessly to solve it. At some point you are going to falter and when you do, everything catches up. I think my fear of letting things get to much for others prevented me from thinking about what might happen to me.

Be careful guys, not just with magick but with your hearts and minds. Were only designed to deal with so much at a time and holding the strings tight is all well and good but you need somewhere to tie them down when you need to take a break.

Blessed Be

You cant spell emotion without motion.

I have just completed part of my bardic training called the air weaving ritual. It is a ritual that takes all the learning that you have done during the study of the element air and puts it in to an act of empowerment and unification. I love the way this stuff works.
I found myself at a point in my life 3 ish days ago where i felt a little out of control and stuck in an endless flow of motion. It was difficult because my life was starting to not feel my own and I didn't have any control over what was happening. I was stuck in the air and had no way of getting down. So I decided to do this ritual and come back to earth with whatever was waiting for me.

Turns out the only thing waiting for me was love...............great and powerful love.

I felt the love of others around me, the love of the other elements that I had connected with (water and earth) and the love of my self. The part of me that was happy to see me back in the drivers seat and not stuck in perpetual motion. This however doesn't mean the motions have stopped haha. Ohh no, now I think it may all be just beginning. My life is always moving and no matter how hard anyone tries it is never going to stop.....................I am so glad.

Now I have the element air with me, I have learnt how to fly. I have been given the gift to fly above obstacles that would have stopped me before and limited my movement. Earth taught me to be still and silent, Water taught me to feel and know. But air......air has taught me to learn and be free.

Live in the moment in the motion of your emotions, be free.

Stuck in the air

Hey guys, its been a difficult journey lately with so much learnt and lost. I have been working with the elements and the fae now for a long time and have gotten stuck in to the air element, the element of thought, language, travel and communication. The other elements have been easy to grasp and commune with but this one has been different. I spent a long time fighting it and not taking in what it wanted to show me, but now I am up in the air and soaring with the rest of the worlds of air, free and filled with the power to breath life in to what I am doing. It has been a long time coming and a big learning curve for me to be able to embrace the air so fully.

It's now time for me to move on, the air has kept me for such a long time that I have forgotten what it is to feel the emotions and movement of the waters in my heart, the strength and solidarity of the earth seems so distant now too that I feel the pull back from the realm of air.

Air has given me a chance to taste such freedom and bliss that it is hard to step away and move back towards the realms of feeling and stillness. However there is only one place left to go once I have returned to a place of balance..................Fire.

What adventures should I expect there I wonder, this is another element I have been concerned about. I have no desire for fire like I had for earth and water, but that in it's self is peeking my curiosity. I had no interest in air either after all and look where I am now. I have learnt to fly but have been reminded of the importance of balance and been asked to come back to the ground to learn again. The air has taught me the flows of magick and how they are mirrored in the air we breath and the winds we feel upon our skin. I have so much to learn from everything I feel and experience and now all I want to do is express it, maybe that is what I will learn from fire. Blessed Be

Reeling on the inside

I wrote this blog as a series of my own experiences in spirituality and hoped that you would read it and be inspired to be more, be brave and to express yourself. There are times that make you realise that you can effect change in other people without realising it. I hope that with this blog, if I have effected change in your life then it has been for the better. The world moves in constant motion and at times it impossible to anticipate the things that may come from your actions no matter how small.We may all have different paths to follow, but at times they cross and we walk together in our lives, heart to heart and hand in hand. We walk in a place where if we just looked to the left or right we wouldn't feel so alone. I hope one day when I look to my side I can see all the people that appreciate this blog. You guys are few but you help me more than I could ever help you. Thank you for reading and don't stop now, I'm just getting started HAHA!

Stepping through the flames.

It comes to us some times. Some of us more than once where we find that our feelings are warped and distorted around us like a cocoon that we cannot escape. That mixed up bundle of feeling that can take weeks or even years for us to untangle in to a state of understanding.

Darkness surrounded me and the world was quiet as the gong sounded softly in the distance.......my mind a needle sharp, as if content to torment me. I focused on the sound that hung in the air and felt a presence that made me feel at ease. The face of a person I knew to be friend and brother. I held the moment still and asked the god's for guidance as the fire rose in my chest. It was like a pull of magnitude that made the ringing stop. Humming as the gong erupted spinning through my core, the motion pushed me forward to the fire that I could not avoid. A heat I had not felt in time, that I had not remembered was upon me now as sure as the god's were pushing. My brother was by my side and held my hand with pride. As though to give me strength of his to help me win my trial........I leaped.............

There are times when we must break open the shell that surrounds us and leave it behind. The darkness gives us potential to change and create form from nothing, to change substance and be free from binds that hold us down and limit us in our actions. Just never fear to step within the flames to be transformed.

Blessed Be

Just sign this god form on the dotted line.

Hey guys, so it has been a very busy time for me. There is so much happening in my life and it's a bit of a roller coaster but hey, lets just sit back and enjoy the buzz.

I have been working very hard with magick and the processes that make it happen. My work with lower and darker fields of magickal energy have been really interesting and insightful. But now I am planning on flipping that on it's head and doing a bit of deity work. If you have read previous posts you might remember my chosen deity is Apollo. He really really shines (excuse the pun haha) in my heart and holds a special place with me, at times he has been my faithful friend, willing guide and compassionate lover. He has spoken to me when everyone else didn't have the time and he has taught me to be still and to be quiet when the time is right.

I have worked with him for a good year if not longer and I would like to go to the next step. I have not practised god forms in any way before and after much research and help from a very experienced and beloved brother. I have come to understand it as asking the deity in to your self and acting with intention to change, as deity. Effectively be god for 10 minutes and do stuff (bottom line very simply put haha).

The thing about this is that you don't want to be attempting to call on a god you have never met before or a god you don't know anything about. Some of them are very strong and we need to understand that they have personalities, which may clash with our own. So don't do this unless you have done the ground work.

For example study, prayer, worship, more study and invocation. When I found Apollo it wasn't a case of me going out and finding the god I liked the look of the most but the one that I had the most in common with. He really resonated with me and I found my self draw back to him time and time again. It was amazing when I first met him because after months of study I was astounded to find that he had found me. In effect he answered my prayers and what's more is I wasn't the only one to have seen him there in me (truly an amazing experience and one I wont forget and rarely share).

Since that day I have never doubted his presence in my heart. On one particular summer solstice me and some friends went to the beach to watch the solstice sun rise. I made a split second decision to invoke him at the beach. I had no idea what would happen, I just knew that I wanted him there with me to share with him how I was feeling and to show him that this was for him, I wanted to be there with him.

Well there he stood..........radiant.......with the sun and the waves at his back. He walked towards me and I nearly cried there on the spot. He filled me with such love and adoration that I might have burst open and been a puddle of gooey love right there on the sand. He came up to me, wrapped his arms around me, and hugged me really tight. I just felt such a wave of love and acceptance that I could have died happy right there and then. This is a god that I am safe to call on and there are reasons we are drawn to deity. Apollo is my god my friend and my lover. Blessed Be.

Walking in the dark

It's been a big subject lately for me, the use of dark energy. A few of my friends have experience in that field however I am a lot less experienced. But last night I was walking home at 10 at night and I began to think about it.
What is dark energy, where does it come from?? I understand light energy and have an idea of where it comes from and what it it consists of but dark is different, maybe opposite. It made me think of something I saw on a science documentary about dark matter and dark energy and I thought why don't I try and pull that to me while I walk home (in the dark.......on my own haha).

Now how the hell do I do that? I was thinking to my self as I began the 2 mile stroll. First I need to identify the energy I am looking for, then I need to learn what it feels like before I can draw it in and then direct it through intention. So this was the tricky bit. How do you see something like dark energy? According to the science it does not interact with light at all and is unhindered by mater, I think that has something to do with dark energy being part of everything as light energy is.

I let my mind empty as I walked alone in the dark. I tried to just view the world in darkness and see with my heart like a sonar that could show my eyes what was really there, I watched as the cars whizzed past and left ripples in the dark energy all around. It was as if there was an inky mist in everything that was disturbed when you moved through it. I saw colours as the energy reset to how it was after being disturbed. I thought to myself "Right!!" so now I know what you look like, what do you feel like??

I began to mentally tug at the image in my mind and pull at the energy around me. It was hard. At first I felt the lights of the people and things around me then it expanded to the light of distant objects then the stars. I had spent years programming my senses to feel the light in things, the energy that I was so familiar with was hard to ignore but then I was walking through a dark alley of bushes and felt it.

Cold so very very cold, but not in a physical way but like something that is just silent and still. I began to tug at it and it began to move and settle around me on my aura ( I had set up some protection so I wouldn't invite any nasties in haha.) It had made no difference to the area around me as it moved silently through matter and unhindered by light. Dark energy was out there and it was in abundance. I pulled and pulled until it was thick around me and basked in its flow for a while. There was a feeling of excitement and awe as I knew what I was doing was awesome and new but it was also humbling, there was a feeling of appreciation for this new power and strength that I had found. I was aware of a different way.

I slowly began to release my grip on the energy after feeling it for a while and becoming familiar. It reminded me of my beloved fair folk who live in 2 worlds. They relish the dark and understand it just as much as they understand the light. Some more than others. I thought about how the world we live on is multi dimensional and how if we just explored carefully we would be able to find out so much more about ourselves and the beings that are out there.
I bet some of you are thinking Ohhhhhh you have to  be careful, so here it is. Yes be careful but no.....don't be afraid or over cautious. No one ever explored anywhere without having some element of danger follow them, NO ONE. So go and explore different energy and claim it for your self, work with it as your own power source and become a master in your own right. Just don't get carried away and be safe.

Power can run away with all of us, I only touched a new source of it yesterday and I'm still buzzing. Blessed Be guys and take it easy.

A long ole day.

Hey everyone, it's been a long old day and I have done lots and lots. Today was my enrolment at college and well it was a bit of organised (if you could call what I saw organised) chaos. After that I visited my Grandma, had dinner and chatted until dark. All round I had a good day and started to feel very good about the way the world is moving again (well my little world anyway).

Magick has been the furthest thing from my mind lately, or so I thought. Some times it just happens without you knowing or without you trying might be a better way of putting it. The enrolment went well today and I had been gearing up to it for weeks if not months so today when it finally happened I was ready. The forms were sorted in no time and my exam certificates were sorted. My picture for my ID was a good one for once. Then I had to pay my tuition, which went well until the card machine didn't accept my pin. I thought to myself "NO way am I going to let this stop me". The woman who was helping process my payment then mentioned I could do it on line with her there and then but that earlier in the day this service hadn't been working. So I said do it, I crossed my arms, fingers, toes and my legs and just asked everything around me in the ether and otherwise to MAKE IT WORK!!!!!!!

The woman was shocked and yelped a "YEY" as the payment went through first time with no hassle and no repeating of the details in the system or anything at all annoying haha. I was so happy to be leaving knowing that now it was done and I wasn't waiting for it all to start any more. I wonder if crossing everything helped?

I went to visit my Grandma and we took the dog for a walk. It was in the park while I was picking blackberries that I made my offering to spirit and said thank you. With my bag of potions and oils on my hip I took out the herb offering I use all the time and sprinkled it saying thanks to all the spirits that have helped me this past little while and asked them to accept the offering. It must have worked, the pie we had later on was just lush.

Ok so not pie but it was the only picture I had with pastry in it haha.

I'm so happy that the seeds I planted months ago have started to sprout and grow, Now all I need to do is nurture and protect what I have worked for so that it may bear fruit. Blessed Be and thank you for reading, It has supported me in ways that I may never be able to express.

It's a little bit funny.

This feeling inside haha. I don't know really but that's the one we struggle with isn't it. LOVE!! The one that eludes us for such a time, that makes our hearts ache, our limbs weak and leave our bodies crushed. The one that we spend the most time ignoring and the one that can solve so many problems but is pushed aside by fear.

I wonder why it is so complicated? Falling in love was easy for me. I arranged to meet up with this beautiful guy and when I saw him for the first time it was like I feel for him now. I know his heart and he knows mine and that's why this past five years have felt like five minutes. I can say to people it was love at first sight and mean it.

But that's not the only love there is. There is the love of your family and your siblings. Your parents and your pets. There is of course the love you feel for your friends and companions too. But I'm sure it doesn't stop there. I happen to be one of those annoying people that tells everyone that he loves them and what is really weird is that I do. I love people.........a lot of people and all though I know that makes me sound like an utter slut haha. I don't care.

I feel love for the people around me because it helps. It helps to solve our problems, it helps to secure friends, it even helps for me to let people leave my life and hurt me. I let love in as often as I can and I let love leave me because I know that by being open to its power that I will never feel the sting off loss for long at all before love from another source fills the space and heals the wound. Love is something that is inherent in each of us so why don't all of us love more freely with compassion and understanding. Let things move in love and pass with love so that love will return.

Blessed Be you lovely people. LOVE YOU!!!!!

P.S I will never say love so much in a post ever again hahahaha promise :oD

Anger is my choice of bitter.

What a way to WANT to be, can't understand it myself. Its got to be hard for some of us if not all of us when the right thing happens to make us feel very angry. But why would you want to stay in that moment? I have known people that have let these moments last for days before finally letting it fizzle out and be of no consequence.

How we move that energy on is different for each of us. Some of us erupt over the smallest of things and others of us have longer fuses that goes off with (maybe) more of a bang. But how do you use this power in a way that does not cause harm and in a way that moves you in the right direction?? How do we make anger and frustration in to focus and progression??

Or let the goddess knock them the **** out haha

I can only use my own experiences to guide, so here goes. I have found that at times the need has been for me to express how I am feeling and you may think that this is a negative thing, but in the right situation the right thing to do is to bare your teeth and defend your self with the energy of the situation. So yes use this energy (anger,frustration) to give your words power and to protect yourself without causing harm.

Another technique I have used is to remove myself from the situation and remove the energy of the event from my field and put it somewhere that it can be better dealt with. Like the earth or one I like more is running water. Energy is effectively potential movement, so passing that on to a body of water seems (to me) more in tune as water is in a constant state of motion anyway.

Lastly is to transmute the energy of a situation in myself and then pass it back to help resolve the problem. I'm not saying this is easy and I'm not saying it works perfectly every time, emotions have a way of getting at your core sometimes and making it hard to much of anything. But at least with this knowledge then maybe some issues can be dealt with before they get too big for you to handle. I know there are other methods out there to control your own energy and not let emotions rule your actions but these are just examples I have experience with.

Blessed Be

Sexual strength is for pussies

I would like to say that I am confident and sure about all the things I feel to do with myself, but the reality is that I'm not. I have struggled to define what makes me FEEL the way I do for a long long time and I have been fighting what has felt like a loosing battle for what feels like almost forever.

My sexuality has led me in to some very unfamiliar territory and because it's social acceptance is still rather young I am finding it hard to express how I feel openly. I could be a big camp guy with big camp ideas and big camp friends but I'm not. Yes I am eccentric and hyperactive but I am not camp, but that means I'm not butch and burly either, I'm just me and I am stuck trying to figure out how to express that feeling so that I don't have to bottle it up hoping not to get to the point where it bursts out and puts me in a bad situation.

So I have decided to join a belly dance class, not because I want to tone up (even though that is going to be a nice bonus haha), not because I want to learn to dance either but because belly dance gives me the opportunity to express my sexual feminine energy in a safe and powerful way and it helps me to alter how I feel about myself. The dancing connects me to the divine feminine that is in me (and everyone else) and helps it to come out. I mean yes I found that I felt silly and uncomfortable during the lesson but after about half an hour I was at ease completely and felt connected to something that I rarely get in touch with.

Frank Farinaro is superb at what he does.

In my life I have not really had female roll models nor have I had much feminine exposure due to my sexuality (obviously haha) which has made me feel a tad well...... unbalanced, that I need to connect to what I have been missing. The dance does this in a way that I didn't know it could, it connects me to the Goddess. That part of everything that I have not had much to do with, that I have missed out on and that I have avoided. I want to have that part of me strengthened and renewed so that I can feel it. 

One day I will dance and it will be me dancing for the Goddess and showing her my strength, that I can be strong and I can be balanced.

Feeling the vibes

I'm going to try and describe how I felt the other night.

I was invited to a friends house to help with an alter/shrine in the back garden that she had created. A place dedicated to the practice of magick outdoors, me and my friends were asked to share a ceremony with a Shaman friend of ours and then feel free to add whatever magick we wanted to the sacred space. 

Another friend of ours communed with the elements and I think she invoked deity and as I watched the space I had a vision of a big black cauldron filled to the brim with magick of many colours. All swirling around and moving in sync with each other. Not mixing but working together to create something powerful. I saw how each person was adding a different group of magickal ingredients to the mix and making it stronger and stronger.

Next it was my turn, so I took my fae wand and gestured a spell of protection over the sight and then got to my knees and thought to myself that I would invoke the fae and ask them to watch over this place. I was going to ask if they would please offer their strengths to this place and they answered. With such a flood of power they answered. Before I had said the words my body shivered and I felt them all around me.

Their presence was immense as they swarmed around to answer my call, a few of them agreed to my request and seemed almost pleased that they were being asked to watch over the place. As I knelt there on the spot I felt their energy strong and multicoloured until my Shaman friend stood behind me and they flew to a safe distance. We were disturbed and even though I had finished and the magick was in place I couldn't help but feel the wrench as their power left my field. It was an amazing sensation and just helped to remind me of who they are and how they feel. It felt so real and so natural to me.

I'm not sure how exactly to explain how I felt at each moment that night. I just know that It was right for me. I suppose this is just me sharing an experience. Blessed Be.

Mirror magick

How often have you done something and felt that you were right in every aspect?...............Go on........................... Think about it and then ask yourself. How many times afterword have you re-evaluated it and thought. "Why the hell did I do that??"

Sometimes we find ourselves feeling very confident and we can do so much with that confidence that at times we can be oblivious to the actual effects of our actions.
I was reminded lately of how people can take confidence and turn it in to arrogance, which is difficult to say because you run the risk of saying you are better than them yourself which can then in turn make you rather arrogant (Ooo complicated aye haha). However, I think arrogance comes from the belief that you can't get things wrong sometimes.

What if that arrogance was cemented by what you believed in, be it Christian, Muslim, Pagan or Druid. How would your beliefs influence your actions and responses to other people if you deemed them inferior or miss led.

So here it is then, look in the mirror and tell yourself you have the power to do what ever you want. That you are divinely blessed. That you can do no wrong. But for the love of god please include that you will be humble and compassionate. That you will be tolerant and understanding.

Mirror magick has the potential to change your life if you take the time to look at who is staring back at you, just be careful not to feel that you don't really know the person on the other side. We aren't always who we think we are but we do have the power to change it. Break the model and keep moving forward :o)

Black magicETHICS!!! I mean ethics......Black Ethics

Hey now don't get mad it's just a figure of speech, bet seriously it's not all bad sometimes it's with the best intention. HA!!

It's all very well and good isn't it. You are sat there minding your own business when at the same time in a land far far away. Someone is trying to influence the course of your life because they think they know better. I know I know, we have all done it. We have all done it with the best intentions and cast a spell of protection, or healing on someone without asking to try and make things better for them buuuuuut.

This is wrong!.....We have no right to perform magick on another person without their permission, no matter how much we can see them falling in to a pit. Some of the biggest character building lessons have been learned in the most dire of circumstances and even more to the point. you may see something as bad and another person may see it as potential to do good. For example.........

I have recently lost someone very close to me and been in this exact position, only there was no magick involved. I was in a position to share news of a family loss with my sister and chose to delay the call because I knew she was meeting with friends. Now I thought that a couple of hours made no difference as it wouldn't to me and that I would be sparing her the uncomfortable position it may put her in, but in fact my sister was very angry with me. This made me think of how people use magick and how much magick has the power to change things. It can be such a powerful tool that if I had used it to spare my sister the pain of loss then she may never truly get over it.

Some of use use it for ourselves knowing that if we are fit and able to do things for our selves then we are more able to help those around us that ask. So magick is used to bring us strength before we use it to help others. Then there are some people who use magick only to help others and very rarely use it to help them selves in order to maintain equilibrium.

Neither one of these is a bad thing but I will say that using magick on behalf of someone else whether it be small or large WITHOUT their permission is one of the blackest things you could do. The world is made of all sorts of people, places and beliefs and none of us will ever truly understand each other to the point where we can say we did it for your own good and ever be truly right. We need to learn to support each other in ways that don't compromise what we could learn from each other for without darkness we can never know light for without light we can never find darkness.

Please don't mistake black magick as curses and darkness because the real black magick is the stuff that stops people from living life the way they chose and forces them to live the way YOU chose. Always ask if someone wants your help and never make the assumption because you never know what you may truly be changing.

Darkness only sets the scene for light and light only shows the path for darkness. Both are part of all we are and will never be anything less than equals in the world.

What changes happen must be must

She walks below goddess's shawl

and knows the journey will be small.

Her lover waits to end the ride

and walk with hands linked by her side.

Within the golden lands above

she finds a place to shine her love.

To those she left in empty space

she sends a smile to fill its place.

The goddess walks with silent steps

as she descends the wandered depths.

To remind those that do now mourn

that we are all one day reborn.

My Great Gran passed away today. It was peaceful and she was with loved ones. I know that she will be happy to go to the new world and that my Great Gramp is waiting for her. I ask that the great Lady Hecate guide her to her love with her beacon and that she have a swift journey filled with laughter. I did love my Gran's laugh. Blessed Be.

Getting the message.

I am buzzing, have just eaten wraps, had a wonderful meditation and received a beautiful e-mail from someone I hope to be able to call a friend one day.

Each one of these (minus the wraps) have told me something very clear that I have not ever heard in my life. As the person I am and having gone through the things that I have been through. I try to see the good that is in everyone even at times making it up just to appease the situation, because I believe it is the right thing to do and it keeps everyone happy. But it requires me to sacrifice my power in a way that I never thought that it would.

So I lost my bite..................where the hell did that go. I know I haven't just left it somewhere cause I feel it from time to time when I have to stifle it and keep the situation calm. I never thought for a second that this could leave me drained and worn out by other people. We are all capable of doing terrible things through rage and anger but we forget by subduing our urges beyond the point of safety, that sometimes no is a better answer than yes, that just showing your teeth can solve more problems than letting things run their course.

You can only give so much to people and stifle your own feelings and urges before you have nothing left to give or to express to the ones that matter and more importantly......yourself. Because if you aren't able to care for yourself then how can you help others?

You thought I was only one. I am many and we are free.

This is where my bite comes in because after saying yes for so long, people aren't going to be expecting the no. I am going to have a fight on my hands just to keep that which is mine and I don't mean my things or my laptop or anything like that. I mean my stability.........peace of mind.........That quiet moment where I need to be alone with just my thoughts for company. My Nwyfre.

Today has been a reminder that those things we can do in rage and in anger, if used properly with respect and tolerance actually are just tools to help us defend our selves and make our point in a sea of turbulent motion. My Nwyfre is mine to do with what I will and will no longer be take by just anyone who asks. It is my tool, my energy and I have got my bite back.

Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath, fire my spirit.

The earth is healing me day in and day out. She is like a never ending battery that is just happy to give me all that I need. Giving me the tools that I need to build my world with, growing from the seeds that she has taught me to nurture through action. Her energy has taught me to shield and heal anyone and anything, both in this world and in others. Feeling the soul the rest's within the body of all things. She helps me to communicate with the spirits of the earth, the fae and the realms of slower and darker energy. Her being is the depths of the dark still centre hidden in the perpetual moment. Feel this place in the depths by the love of the earth you find that there is a whole other world that is filled with a magick all it's own.

The water feeds and nurtures me day in and day out. She cleanses my spirit and clears my feelings so that I can work with my intuition. She embraces me when I am low and she pushes away with awesome power, that which would harm me. Her energy has made me intuitive and allows me to feel with clarity what I need to do. She has taught me to push and pull like a tide and I have learnt how to flood areas with emotion and drain others. Her heart is in the flow of the moment as she moves, showing me how to remain in one place and move to another all at the same time, Her realm in the depths of the dark is filled with emotion and feeling where you feel with you heart to find where you are, a world that is filled with a magick all it's own.

The air fills me and frees me day in and day out. He clears my mind and channels my ideas so that I can manifest my thoughts. He moves me when I am still and shows me the flow of thought showing me that I can affect change from a distance with a simple breath or word. Freeing my spirit that I may fly with him going to see places and be filled with light. He has taught me to be invisible and free from the world that holds us in the moments that we feel we can't escape. I let his breath guide me and show me the words of power that effect change, in his world of light you can see and feel with your body the rush of the invisible folk, listen to the invisible words and find your way in a world that is filled with a magick all it's own

The fire blazes in my spirit day in and day out . He powers my passions and empowers my desire, guiding my actions with feeling's of what I should do. He teaches me to protect that which is sacred to me and reminds me to be warm and kind to those that are in need of empowering. He guides me in the realms of love and lights the sacred fires within my soul, giving me the strength to love myself and the others around me. If I see him he reminds me that my power is not something to be afraid of only respected and used in times when it is called upon. I let him burn me a path to the realms of light where you move with caution and respect of the great power that exists there, a world with a magick all it's own.

Blessed are the spirits they watch over me day in and day out. I am part of them and they are all in me, part for part I am now the fifth.

Blessed Be

There is magick in the air.

When all the world is tuning,

and no one seems to care.

I always get to feeling,

all the magick in the air.

The wind begins to whisper.

The water starts to shout.

The earth it says with feeling,

what the fire doesn't doubt.

We need to start by listening,

the words are everywhere,

the proof that what your feeling.

Is the magick in the air.

Circe. A great Sorceress. 

I wrote this just a moment ago when I thought that I needed to say something about magick. But all I am being shown around me is how we have forgotten how to listen. We rely on being told instead of experiencing things for our selves, by our selves. If we do one thing for the coming festival let it just be that we listen to the voices that aren't those of people. You never know, it might sound much better than you think.

Blessed Be everyone :o)

It's been fun

This is the time. I have been working hard and thinking long. My mind has been so full of how magick is my life and how it fills my everyday lately but also that there is sooooooo much that I still want to learn and accomplish. I have found myself being drawn lately to look back on how my journey began and what I have been through in my life to get to where I am now.

For starters I like the person that I am, not a lot of people say that about them selves and I am deeply humbled to think that I have this rare appreciation of the person I am right here and now. I have and still do make really stupid mistakes but I am glad of them because they teach me to be ever better, ever stronger and ever wiser than I was 10 minuet's ago.

I believe......Do you??

But that way of being leads to constant changes, to the way I think, feel and act. All the time! It can be exhausting to be so aware of what you say and do all the time that sometimes you just want to be yourself. That is where my magick lies............with myself.............that no one but the god and goddess know.

My power comes from that moment of me where I am free and I am focused. This is now an exercise I want to try more often. I can change anything about myself but why when I am the most powerful just being me? It is a rare thing to like the person you are and with that comes confidence and strength and power. Not over others but over you and what more do you really need.

Magick works because we believe..........Christian miracles happen because Christian's believe. You need to believe in yourself and then you will believe in YOUR magick................ and screw the other guy aye he he.

Time I began moving again.

It's been a lovely past week or so. The summer solstice rolled round and again my life was filled with magick. I spent a night down at a friends house by the river to watch the sunrise, and whilst I was there the elements just spoke volumes to me all the while. The Fae were constant during my magick as I sensed them in all the things I did. The next day I had a party to go to where a group of my friends were and where we all chanted and sang songs well in to the night.
All in all the solstice was a very energetic and spiritual time for me as it always is. But since then I have done little in the way of ritual work and have left my Bardic training to grind to a steady halt.
Right now though, I think it is time for me to get my head out of my ass and back in to the magick that is all around me and that I want to make a part of my life.

But where do I start?? It's weird because magick has become second nature to me or so I thought. What do I do now? How do I pick up where I left off??

The thing is I don't think I ever really do leave off. I just take a break form the energetic side of things and just go with the moments. But when the last moment ends it brings with it a sense of disconnect that makes me feel as though I have lost my place.

Hey little dude. May the goddess watch over you.

OoooooI have just this Minuit had an Ahhaaa moment. If I don't know where I'm gonna start up again then maybe I should take a moment to look at the possibilities. How many angles are there that I can see, how many things can I do before I'm committed to the one practise for however long it may take. Ahhaaa lets see how many little magickal jobs I can get done before I have to start one one of the big ones that are waiting for me. I never would have had this opportunity if I hadn't had this time to stop and reflect on what there is for me to achieve.

Maybe I will write a spell or practise calling in the elements. Maybe I could make a potion. I do love making potions HA HA. Ohh the ideas I have now that I have the moment to formulate them.............Maybe I never did leave the moment. Maybe this is just a different moment for different things and different reasons all together.

Well well in that case blessed are the spirits indeed. Ciao peeps I'm off to cast :oD

Watching what I watch.

Its been lovely in spirit with my guides and the power of the elements growing inside me. I have just completed my water weaving ritual and bringing the element of water into balance. It was a bit of a roller coaster with my emotions on highs and lows like tides of the ocean. One minute being able to deal with everything and then not being able to cope with my tiny problems. But working with my guide and the element of water more and more helped me to balance what was happening and deal with my emotional tides.

Since this my intuition and senses have grown more sensitive to the other worlds and the spirits around me. I have been exploring this new found awareness and reading a book quoted in my Druidry course about the element's. It has been really really interesting to learn about the elements in a way that explores their personalities and not just their influences. On top of this reading I have been looking in to the realm of my guides, the Fae.

During all this reading and research it has been made very clear that what is being watched, read and heard is being monitored and scrutinised by not just myself but my guides and especially my little sprite.

While watching a video on my laptop that some people may remember me posting on other sites about the Fairy Faith, I found myself loosing concentration and not paying attention to what I was watching. I was thinking about how real all this stuff on the video seemed and then I remember thinking to myself "Is this stuff not just all these peoples head's". At that moment while I was sat at one end of the room and my partner at the other the TV turned itself on. Now just to clarify that this has never happened before with anything in the house and the TV remote was nowhere to be found. I looked at the telly with its blank screen and thought to myself "ah I think someone is trying to make a point". So I un-paused the video on my laptop and began to pay more attention to what I was watching. To mine and my partners amusement the TV turned itself off.

I laughed for a while as my partner began questioning what the hell could be going on, so I just told him that my guide had just turned it on to make a point of telling me to pay attention. My lovely man just smiled at me knowing that my brand of magic seems to do stuff without me asking and seemed to be satisfied with my explanation of the TVs erratic behaviour. Although I have been told off for not paying attention it's actually quite nice to feel a definite sense of guidance being given to me. I'm learning so much and have nothing but thanks and admiration for the spirits that are helping me along my path.

Fairy or fool?!?!

Here I was thinking about how we speak to each other and how we address our guides, God's and Goddess's. After speaking with a friend of mine about their spirit guides we realised that we speak to them and commune with them in very different ways.

Mine being a fairy is very fun and mischievous so when I speak to him I speak like I would to a friend and even to get my point across I swear. Now he seems to really respond to me and although people may say I am disrespectful to him I will just say that I haven't told you what he said back not to mention what he does hahaha. But my friend who I was talking to is on the other side of this scale and is very serious and respectful to his guides. This brought me to look at how I speak to the spiritual allies that I have mustered through my years of the craft. 

My spirit guide and me have only been working together for a few months but together we have learnt a lot. I have learnt about his world and the magick that is in everything and he has learnt about us and the world we live in. We work together with the elements and we work together with meditations. It is like I have not so much gained a guide but a friend in another world. 

Ok so no Hecate but still Apollo in this pic is FIT!!!! :oD

My God and Goddess have both spoken to me in very different ways through healing's and just standing in the door telling me off for being a dick. To Apollo and Hecate I am very respectful but who wouldn't be respectful when talking with a god of plagues who is a crack shot with a bow or the goddess of magic and the three worlds ha ha. But in a way I feel as though I have a relationship with them that is more than just a "Hi its me again. Can I have this?" arrangement. We speak to each other and when I am struggling they lift me up out of the grunge again to fight with renewed strength. 

When it comes to them, I speak with trust and love in my heart and a sense that If I am talking to you then you will listen and act on what I say in what way you deem fit to act. And based on that logic if I say the wrong thing then I might not like how they act haha. However I also feel that they are beyond me as aspects of the same divine that is in everything. When I honour them I am honouring the divine in myself and everything, therefore they deserve a level of respect and reverence that causes me to treat them very differently to a guide who I feel is my equal just in another plane of existence.

I wonder how others speak to their gods and guides. Are you their servant, companion or master. How does it all work with you??

Balance a new kind of independence.

For a very long time I was someone who would look to his books and try to figure out how to make his magickal practise personal, powerful and easy to do. Bot for such a long time i was falling flat on my face.

I'm so glad I did haha. My faltering has taught me a great deal about myself, others and magick in the world. It has been a great big up hill struggle until now but I finally feel an air of confidence in my magickal working that I never felt before and it's all because of balance. The whole idea being drilled in to my head revolves around the fact that without balance nothing can exist. Everything must work in harmony with something else for both to survive, Yin &Yang, Chaos & Cosmos, Cause & Effect.

Everything in this world is subject to the actions of what is around it.

But besides that, the wonderful thing is that my actions if planned can bring about awesome effects. My prayers can be heard and create effect's and the idea that a butterfly flapping it's wings in England could be the one gust in the whole atmosphere that moves the air just enough to trigger a storm in the Atlantic fascinates me.

I am a part of this huge system that responds to everything I do in kind. What energy I give out is equal to the effect that occurs so the more energy I move the bigger the occurrence.

How empowering is that.

Water ist the healing element for a reason.

It has been an amazing experience today during my water attunement. The focus is on the healing aspect of water, it deals with your emotions and your feeling/sensitive self. The ritual was a deeply empowering and very familiar for me. I have always felt an affinity for the water element even though the element of my birth sign is fire. I have found that it has always been east to sense the element of water around me. It's presence makes me feel strong and confident but also scares me with its power and ferocity, reflecting the power of the emotions in all of us.

During the ritual I felt the energy of the element enter my hands and encompass my entire body, filling my aura and empowering me with a blue healing energy. The ritual asked me to turn healing toward the earth in its entirety and as I visualised the earth hovering above my cupped hands the blue light that had energised me began to seep form my hands like the northern lights in its peacock hues and bathe the earth in healing energy. The vision in front of me was awe inspiring and I found myself almost gasp at the beauty of the magick that was happening before my eye's.

Audrey Douteroux

Earth gave me my stable foundation the body of my craft. But now water has urged me to feel a deeper and more connected link to the ether around me, the ebb and flow of magick, trust my intuition and focus my emotions in to action. There is so much the elements can teach us and I am only just starting to hear what I should have been listening too a long long time ago.

Blessed are the Spirits.