Life has gone from turbulent to roller coaster hahahaha. I really have had to hold on for dear life with the stuff in my head lately. My magick has seemed at times to just be working over time and this has led to some amazing things happening and not just to me.
I have been working increasingly with the Greek gods that I am so enamoured with. I have such a love for them and have begun to work with my love Apollo's brothers, sisters and fellow Olympians. Recently my work with the gods has had some alarmingly influential effects on people (not in a negative way mind you, just in a very awesome way).
This has led me in to a place that I have not been in a long time.
Today I was stood in the kitchen just after a couple of friends had arrived to stay the night after a wedding we were all going to. The wedding of 2 of my greatest friends in the whole world. It was going to be a great day and my friends that were staying the night were so nice to have for company. Anyway standing in the kitchen I reached to the fridge and pulled out some juice and had a drink. It was the nicest drink I had drank all day haha. Suddenly as if from nowhere I felt like the walls of my house were beginning to crumble around me and that a wave had begun to rise from the floor. All the emotion I had asked for help with from the god's, that I had used my magick to avert had finally caught up with me and my life wasn't being held together any more.
My house mate looked at me, my red face and my welling eyes and with a sudden face of concern asked what was going on. I just looked at him in the face, gasped and said "Nothing...........Nothing I can tell you today". I had no idea how dependant on the magicks I had been this past week and had not ever thought about how I would cope once I had to calm down and let it catch up with me.
My face book profile was quickly updated with my plea to the world for a holiday where I could disappear to the clouds and recharge my batteries. What an idea that was. It has taught me something about magick that I knew about yet had never experienced and that is how at some points in your life the use of magick can disconnect you from what it is you are trying to get through. I had been using magick on all the people involved and had tried my hardest to keep the binds from shredding and leaving people reeling from the disconnection. But I had failed to notice how much of my effort was required to do this. The gods were helping but only because I was asking them constantly. I was constantly in that place of magick and divine power. This is where I mention the key word haha. I never grounded.........................not once. My head was so full of the effects of what was happening and the actions I was taking to keep things calm that I had forgotten to ground and centre.
I have learnt the limits of my strength, I know that I can push my self and use my spirituality and spell craft to do amazing things. But I need to remember what a toll work takes on anyone. This is not about magick draining me, it is about spending a week with only one thing on your mind and working tirelessly to solve it. At some point you are going to falter and when you do, everything catches up. I think my fear of letting things get to much for others prevented me from thinking about what might happen to me.
Be careful guys, not just with magick but with your hearts and minds. Were only designed to deal with so much at a time and holding the strings tight is all well and good but you need somewhere to tie them down when you need to take a break.
Blessed Be
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