Fear is the biggest motivator

Life has gone from turbulent to roller coaster hahahaha. I really have had to hold on for dear life with the stuff in my head lately. My magick has seemed at times to just be working over time and this has led to some amazing things happening and not just to me.

I have been working increasingly with the Greek gods that I am so enamoured with. I have such a love for them and have begun to work with my love Apollo's brothers, sisters and fellow Olympians. Recently my work with the gods has had some alarmingly influential effects on people (not in a negative way mind you, just in a very awesome way).

This has led me in to a place that I have not been in a long time.

Today I was stood in the kitchen just after a couple of friends had arrived to stay the night after a wedding we were all going to. The wedding of 2 of my greatest friends in the whole world. It was going to be a great day and my friends that were staying the night were so nice to have for company. Anyway standing in the kitchen I reached to the fridge and pulled out some juice and had a drink. It was the nicest drink I had drank all day haha. Suddenly as if from nowhere I felt like the walls of my house were beginning to crumble around me and that a wave had begun to rise from the floor. All the emotion I had asked for help with from the god's, that I had used my magick to avert had finally caught up with me and my life wasn't being held together any more.

My house mate looked at me, my red face and my welling eyes and with a sudden face of concern asked what was going on. I just looked at him in the face, gasped and said "Nothing...........Nothing I can tell you today". I had no idea how dependant on the magicks I had been this past week and had not ever thought about how I would cope once I had to calm down and let it catch up with me.

My face book profile was quickly updated with my plea to the world for a holiday where I could disappear to the clouds and recharge my batteries. What an idea that was. It has taught me something about magick that I knew about yet had never experienced and that is how at some points in your life the use of magick can disconnect you from what it is you are trying to get through. I had been using magick on all the people involved and had tried my hardest to keep the binds from shredding and leaving people reeling from the disconnection. But I had failed to notice how much of my effort was required to do this. The gods were helping but only because I was asking them constantly. I was constantly in that place of magick and divine power. This is where I mention the key word haha. I never grounded.........................not once. My head was so full of the effects of what was happening and the actions I was taking to keep things calm that I had forgotten to ground and centre.

I have learnt the limits of my strength, I know that I can push my self and use my spirituality and spell craft to do amazing things. But I need to remember what a toll work takes on anyone. This is not about magick draining me, it is about spending a week with only one thing on your mind and working tirelessly to solve it. At some point you are going to falter and when you do, everything catches up. I think my fear of letting things get to much for others prevented me from thinking about what might happen to me.

Be careful guys, not just with magick but with your hearts and minds. Were only designed to deal with so much at a time and holding the strings tight is all well and good but you need somewhere to tie them down when you need to take a break.

Blessed Be

You cant spell emotion without motion.

I have just completed part of my bardic training called the air weaving ritual. It is a ritual that takes all the learning that you have done during the study of the element air and puts it in to an act of empowerment and unification. I love the way this stuff works.
I found myself at a point in my life 3 ish days ago where i felt a little out of control and stuck in an endless flow of motion. It was difficult because my life was starting to not feel my own and I didn't have any control over what was happening. I was stuck in the air and had no way of getting down. So I decided to do this ritual and come back to earth with whatever was waiting for me.

Turns out the only thing waiting for me was love...............great and powerful love.

I felt the love of others around me, the love of the other elements that I had connected with (water and earth) and the love of my self. The part of me that was happy to see me back in the drivers seat and not stuck in perpetual motion. This however doesn't mean the motions have stopped haha. Ohh no, now I think it may all be just beginning. My life is always moving and no matter how hard anyone tries it is never going to stop.....................I am so glad.

Now I have the element air with me, I have learnt how to fly. I have been given the gift to fly above obstacles that would have stopped me before and limited my movement. Earth taught me to be still and silent, Water taught me to feel and know. But air......air has taught me to learn and be free.

Live in the moment in the motion of your emotions, be free.

Stuck in the air

Hey guys, its been a difficult journey lately with so much learnt and lost. I have been working with the elements and the fae now for a long time and have gotten stuck in to the air element, the element of thought, language, travel and communication. The other elements have been easy to grasp and commune with but this one has been different. I spent a long time fighting it and not taking in what it wanted to show me, but now I am up in the air and soaring with the rest of the worlds of air, free and filled with the power to breath life in to what I am doing. It has been a long time coming and a big learning curve for me to be able to embrace the air so fully.

It's now time for me to move on, the air has kept me for such a long time that I have forgotten what it is to feel the emotions and movement of the waters in my heart, the strength and solidarity of the earth seems so distant now too that I feel the pull back from the realm of air.

Air has given me a chance to taste such freedom and bliss that it is hard to step away and move back towards the realms of feeling and stillness. However there is only one place left to go once I have returned to a place of balance..................Fire.

What adventures should I expect there I wonder, this is another element I have been concerned about. I have no desire for fire like I had for earth and water, but that in it's self is peeking my curiosity. I had no interest in air either after all and look where I am now. I have learnt to fly but have been reminded of the importance of balance and been asked to come back to the ground to learn again. The air has taught me the flows of magick and how they are mirrored in the air we breath and the winds we feel upon our skin. I have so much to learn from everything I feel and experience and now all I want to do is express it, maybe that is what I will learn from fire. Blessed Be

Reeling on the inside

I wrote this blog as a series of my own experiences in spirituality and hoped that you would read it and be inspired to be more, be brave and to express yourself. There are times that make you realise that you can effect change in other people without realising it. I hope that with this blog, if I have effected change in your life then it has been for the better. The world moves in constant motion and at times it impossible to anticipate the things that may come from your actions no matter how small.We may all have different paths to follow, but at times they cross and we walk together in our lives, heart to heart and hand in hand. We walk in a place where if we just looked to the left or right we wouldn't feel so alone. I hope one day when I look to my side I can see all the people that appreciate this blog. You guys are few but you help me more than I could ever help you. Thank you for reading and don't stop now, I'm just getting started HAHA!

Stepping through the flames.

It comes to us some times. Some of us more than once where we find that our feelings are warped and distorted around us like a cocoon that we cannot escape. That mixed up bundle of feeling that can take weeks or even years for us to untangle in to a state of understanding.

Darkness surrounded me and the world was quiet as the gong sounded softly in the distance.......my mind a needle sharp, as if content to torment me. I focused on the sound that hung in the air and felt a presence that made me feel at ease. The face of a person I knew to be friend and brother. I held the moment still and asked the god's for guidance as the fire rose in my chest. It was like a pull of magnitude that made the ringing stop. Humming as the gong erupted spinning through my core, the motion pushed me forward to the fire that I could not avoid. A heat I had not felt in time, that I had not remembered was upon me now as sure as the god's were pushing. My brother was by my side and held my hand with pride. As though to give me strength of his to help me win my trial........I leaped.............

There are times when we must break open the shell that surrounds us and leave it behind. The darkness gives us potential to change and create form from nothing, to change substance and be free from binds that hold us down and limit us in our actions. Just never fear to step within the flames to be transformed.

Blessed Be

Just sign this god form on the dotted line.

Hey guys, so it has been a very busy time for me. There is so much happening in my life and it's a bit of a roller coaster but hey, lets just sit back and enjoy the buzz.

I have been working very hard with magick and the processes that make it happen. My work with lower and darker fields of magickal energy have been really interesting and insightful. But now I am planning on flipping that on it's head and doing a bit of deity work. If you have read previous posts you might remember my chosen deity is Apollo. He really really shines (excuse the pun haha) in my heart and holds a special place with me, at times he has been my faithful friend, willing guide and compassionate lover. He has spoken to me when everyone else didn't have the time and he has taught me to be still and to be quiet when the time is right.

I have worked with him for a good year if not longer and I would like to go to the next step. I have not practised god forms in any way before and after much research and help from a very experienced and beloved brother. I have come to understand it as asking the deity in to your self and acting with intention to change, as deity. Effectively be god for 10 minutes and do stuff (bottom line very simply put haha).

The thing about this is that you don't want to be attempting to call on a god you have never met before or a god you don't know anything about. Some of them are very strong and we need to understand that they have personalities, which may clash with our own. So don't do this unless you have done the ground work.

For example study, prayer, worship, more study and invocation. When I found Apollo it wasn't a case of me going out and finding the god I liked the look of the most but the one that I had the most in common with. He really resonated with me and I found my self draw back to him time and time again. It was amazing when I first met him because after months of study I was astounded to find that he had found me. In effect he answered my prayers and what's more is I wasn't the only one to have seen him there in me (truly an amazing experience and one I wont forget and rarely share).

Since that day I have never doubted his presence in my heart. On one particular summer solstice me and some friends went to the beach to watch the solstice sun rise. I made a split second decision to invoke him at the beach. I had no idea what would happen, I just knew that I wanted him there with me to share with him how I was feeling and to show him that this was for him, I wanted to be there with him.

Well there he stood..........radiant.......with the sun and the waves at his back. He walked towards me and I nearly cried there on the spot. He filled me with such love and adoration that I might have burst open and been a puddle of gooey love right there on the sand. He came up to me, wrapped his arms around me, and hugged me really tight. I just felt such a wave of love and acceptance that I could have died happy right there and then. This is a god that I am safe to call on and there are reasons we are drawn to deity. Apollo is my god my friend and my lover. Blessed Be.