My sexuality has led me in to some very unfamiliar territory and because it's social acceptance is still rather young I am finding it hard to express how I feel openly. I could be a big camp guy with big camp ideas and big camp friends but I'm not. Yes I am eccentric and hyperactive but I am not camp, but that means I'm not butch and burly either, I'm just me and I am stuck trying to figure out how to express that feeling so that I don't have to bottle it up hoping not to get to the point where it bursts out and puts me in a bad situation.
So I have decided to join a belly dance class, not because I want to tone up (even though that is going to be a nice bonus haha), not because I want to learn to dance either but because belly dance gives me the opportunity to express my sexual feminine energy in a safe and powerful way and it helps me to alter how I feel about myself. The dancing connects me to the divine feminine that is in me (and everyone else) and helps it to come out. I mean yes I found that I felt silly and uncomfortable during the lesson but after about half an hour I was at ease completely and felt connected to something that I rarely get in touch with.
Frank Farinaro is superb at what he does.
In my life I have not really had female roll models nor have I had much feminine exposure due to my sexuality (obviously haha) which has made me feel a tad well...... unbalanced, that I need to connect to what I have been missing. The dance does this in a way that I didn't know it could, it connects me to the Goddess. That part of everything that I have not had much to do with, that I have missed out on and that I have avoided. I want to have that part of me strengthened and renewed so that I can feel it.
One day I will dance and it will be me dancing for the Goddess and showing her my strength, that I can be strong and I can be balanced.
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