Expanding the dirt.

Expanding on what I have said in my past post about cleansing.

There ya go guys enjoy xxx

What do we do when were drity??

I was with my beautiful man for the weekend and we had the most amazing time together. We did lots of things and spent a lot of time talking to each other while we lay in each others arms. The both of us dealt with some big issues that we hadn't resolved all together (me mostly).  Before he left mine, after dropping me off at my house with all my things. We decided, to make our letting go of the old final, that we would do a smudging ceremony so that we could begin a new. Our first little bit of magic together.

It was lovely and I really felt a change in how I was now. However it led me to thinking about how often I really cleanse and what I am actually cleansing. Do we actually do it properly? Do we clean behind our magickal ears? Personally I don't think we do a very good job at the moment, I know I don't. Last night led me to think about all the magick I do on a daily basis and then all the magick I know that other people do. As a rule I don't do magick on others unless it's asked for but I know that there are people out there that do (not a bad thing, just not my cup of tea).

So what about all that magick? It's starting to sound a bit like were being smothered and after thinking long and hard I was like " Ahhhhhhhh I'm drowning in other peoples magick.". Well that's what it felt like at the time haha. All those protection spells, grounding spells, happiness spells, prayers, chants and incantations being fired at us by us and by other people are all going to mount up and cover us from head to toe. The thing is about most of this stuff is that unless you tell it to stop it probably wont.

This was where my thoughts took a eureka moment so to speak. I thought:
"Ok then If all this magick is still happening and I'm under all this mess of magick and protection and whatever. Then I need to lift the crust that is hovering over my head and see the world as it is without the rose tinted magickal blanket."
"I need to get rid of the protection that isn't protecting me from anything any more and the prayers that are out of date, the love that has moved from my life and the healing that has healed my wounds. I need to be clean and start again."

Just because I like this picture :P

So here is the idea.................
1.Cast my circle of protection so that when all the mess is gone I am still safe and sound.
2. I need to speak to my gods and goddesses.
Finally. I will cast a protection spell to seal in the me that is free from tampering and free to express its self to the world.
This I hope is going to get rid of the bog that is surrounding me, not just the magick but all the rest of it too. With the out of date magick gone then maybe those things that they are protecting me from will be forgotten and forgiven for good this time and not just until I get a reminder. When all the mist has cleared and I can see again I will be able to find my weaknesses and make them stronger instead of just covering them up with spells or prayers. I can take Apollo and Aphrodite in to my heart and move forward with them beside me, instead of at arms length.

I cant wait to get clean so that I can start having adventures and begin to get dirty again haha.

Chasing faeries

The world moves and we move, everything is fluid and motion or fire and energy but then we are still from time to time. That is where you see the most amazing things. It is in the pauses that we get the chance to put together all the things that we have watched move and it is in those moments of still contemplation where you can see all the things you've missed.

Talking with my good friend and lover Nuinn I was amazed at how he saw the world, how he felt the motion of everything and nothing all at the same time. It was awesome because it was so different to how I felt and saw things. As he put it, he is fire and I am water.

During a Tai Chi lesson we got to practise a technique called sticky hands. The idea is to get a sense of the energy flow that occurs in your body when you move. I love it but I do something that the others don't. I'm still............

It struck me as weird that the others explained that being so still is not allowing the energy to flow and that you need to move your body to let it flow, but I think the main reason that I'm still is that I'm just feeling. It's hard to explain without knowing more about the practise of Tai Chi. But anyway In that stillness I find that with my eyes closed I can feel and create a mental picture of what my energy is doing, where it is centred, what the other person is doing and how they are going to move (not that I have got the relevant skill yet to do anything with that in formation).
But there are moments with my energy like when water is still, that I can change my flow and then the rest of my body reacts and changes the energy so it knocks the other person off balance. This (as I have found out) is not the point if sticky hands but still I enjoyed what it taught me in that moment. It taught me that I can be like water, still yet moving and then I can make my energy rise from my feet and swell like a wave. It was a self empowering moment of stillness that showed me what I can do when I relax and centre my energy.

Nuinn is as fire. He is a constant burn of flame that moves and flickers with each motion but he has learnt how to make that single candle flame burn away anything that comes to strike at his energy. After all it only takes a candle flame to burn down a whole house. His stillness has given him power and he does not need to expand his energy when the energy that he already has is enough. However I'm not saying he couldn't expand this flame and become a fire storm. But I suppose what would be the point of exhausting yourself so much when the single flame is enough.

Maybe this is the point...........If I am still water then I should just let the energy in, let the motion pass through me as if I'm water and then come out the other side. Its all about being the unseen and moving through the world unhindered..........like faeries.

The power of ugly.

I am often being told about all those spirits and allies we have, Angels, Fae, Ancestors and elemental's and I must admit it is an awesome thought to think that there are all these beings out there that are awesome and wiling in some small way to help me out.

What strikes me as funny is that when people describe them they mention 2 things together that for me are a little narrow minded. That they are all beautiful and that there are many of them as different to each other as we humans are. So why the hell are they ALL beautiful? Now don't get me wrong, beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all but we can all agree on some things that are ugly cant we? So why is it we only want to deal with the pretty spirits and elemental's? What about the ones that have fangs and sharp claws? The ones that are dribbling and shadowy. What about those spirits that are equally benevolent but down right scary and monstrous?

I have had many instances where I have been in the presence of some awesome spiritual guides that have come to help me in my times of trouble but what I can say with certainty is that the ones I gained the most from were the ones that were not only pretty but the ones that were down right ugly to me too. The ones that MADE me stand up and listen to what it was they were trying to teach me.

Strength, Courage, Focus, Will, all those things that keep us from falling under when the world takes a swing at our heads. Those are the things that we learn when we are feeling rock bottom. You would never learn to be courageous if there was never a need to be and that's the same with magick and the spiritual realms. Those monsters under your bed are not the bad guys...........you are stronger than they are and all you need to do is believe it. 

In a situation a while back I was driving home from a friends house in the dark. It was late and I was going a good 15 miles to get home. Not a long journey but to be honest its not about how far you travel its about the journey you take. So there I was in the car and for some reason I decided to go down a country lane that I had not driven down in years. In fact ever, as this was the first time since getting my licence that I had needed to go this way. I was driving cautiously and being observant when I drove past some wood that held dark memories for me. A place that I had not been to in a while. Almost instantly I felt the fear in my belly begin to swell and I couldn't push out images that were flooding my mind. Images of dark thoughts, actions and monsters. Then I thought about the theory I had about monsters years ago. That they are just reflections of your feelings that are trying to encourage you to confront the issue. So I asked for my monster to sit in the back of the car with me. As I drove down the dark lonely road my shadowy monster of fear sat in the back with me..............................I was NOT AFRAID. Why would I be? He was my monster after all. He couldn't harm me because I created him. But I tell ya what, if anything had come out of that forest as I was driving by it would have eaten them alive. He's ugly like that.

Between the sun and a hard place.

The boat was silent on waters still my heart was beating fast

and water slid beneath my feet and took me to the past.

The forest stood as tall as giants the trees began to laugh

with winds that beat like fevered beasts to show the winding path.

The steps were shallow broken slabs and each had bore a mark

that every traveller here and now could sing un to the lark.

My journey ended with the cliff a face within it carved

and stepping close my hand did touch the skin not earthed but barked.

The face gave way to temples sway the stone was white as snow

its space was filled with sweeter smells and darkness filled with glow.

My steps advanced my fleeting breath and stood before a door

the gold and jewels did glitter so and teach me to endure.

His presence seeped through silents cracks to tug my broken heart

and now I knew the way to go and play my chosen part.

The doors were locked and would not sway my strength it weren't enough

and so I called and begged and cried for him to make me tough.

My resolve now was tougher and the door began to move

so in I stepped to see my lord within his golden grove.

His statue there did start to stare and offered me a golden fruit

the apple golden with a glow that with my love began to root.

It's seed was planted teaching me the love that was sublime

a love that came from just once place a love that was just mine.

His message given I began to step back through the glow

the smells still sweet hung in the air began to drift and flow.

Through open doors back to the path that clung upon the ground

I turned with smiles in my heart whilst it began to pound.

My lover of the temple bells had answered me in prayer

with a gift of golden fruit now he is ALWAYS there.

Sorry, I couldn't resist haha.